The Valley
Posted by John W. on Saturday, February 28, 2009
In the winter of 2004 I began to get constipated all the time.I bought laxatives from the local Dollar General and after 2-4 would finally go sometime during the night.I convinced myself the constipation was caused because I sat all day long in a taxicab driving,then went home and sat on the PC all night,ate junk microwave food,sweets and then layed in bed 8 hours,then got back in the cab for another 8-10 hours.Day in day out.After a few months of this,my wife started getting on my back about going to a doctor about it.She nagged me until I finally gave in in Dec,2004.
Now understand that like Morgan Freeman always told me,I was the perfect picture of health.I never got sick.If I caught a cold,it only lasted one day and it was gone.In 20 years I got sick once on a New Years Eve when I picked up a couple downtown at 1230 AM and took them home 15 miles away.The wife vomited in my back seat 5-6 times,and the hubby vomited everytime I stopped at a light or sign.When we got to their house,my cab was pretty well ruined in the back seat.
Now I had a choice-I could call the police,wait an hour or two for them to show up,do some paper work,then go to a magistrate and swear out a warrant for damage to my bizness property,and spend the rest of the night messing with it for mebbe a $100 in court.Or I could clean up the car best I could and go haul some more drunks,who'd probably be sooooo drunk they didn't care anyhow as long as they got a ride,which is what I did.So I made another $300 between 1AM and 4AM New Years Day.I also picked up the worst 24 hour bug I ever had in my life.Two days later I woke up puking my guts out and filling my drawers with watery excrement.That went on for one day,then my wife who was sick in bed for two months with pneumonia caught it and she started puking and crapping too.After another couple of days,it passed thru both of us and I spent another day cleaning the carpets,bedding and clothes.
Okay,so now my wife makes me an appointment at our doctor in Burgaw,NC.So I'm sitting in the exam room after the nurse took all my vitals,waiting for Dr Gonzales to come in.Needless to say I was slighly taken aback when a 5'2" pretty little Hispanic 30 year old girl walked in and said-"Hi.I'm Dr Gonzales."Well long story short,she examined my prostate,told me it was a little swollen,and to get a colonscopy which I immediately told her no way Hose'!She said okay,told me to take laxatives and fiber and call her back when I saw tar in my stool.Two weeks later,I was calling her back.
She gave me the names of 2 docs in Burgaw,the first one telling me $600 in adavance,and that was that.I could barely afford the co-pay for Dr Gonzales!
Anyhow that woman on my back(like in the commercial),called the second recommendation,told them the situation and got me an appointment with Dr Nasarallah in Burgaw,NC.We gave him $50 and talked and he said he would call me when he had made arrangements with Pender County Hospital for the procedure.Meanwhile I applied for charity aid which I got.
When I was in the prep room at Pender Memorial,the anesthesiologist told me they were doing endoscopies for free.I said how come and he said well after the colonscopy they just pull the tube out and use it for the endoscopy.I said okay,go ahead.I didn't know what an endoscopy was but I figgered I needed all the tests I could get. I kept spitting for the next month!Hahaha!
Okay long story short,I had a malignant tumor in my lower colon that had to come out.About six inches long Nasarallah said.Tom Clancy took seven feet of colon out.
Now understand that like Morgan Freeman always told me,I was the perfect picture of health.I never got sick.If I caught a cold,it only lasted one day and it was gone.In 20 years I got sick once on a New Years Eve when I picked up a couple downtown at 1230 AM and took them home 15 miles away.The wife vomited in my back seat 5-6 times,and the hubby vomited everytime I stopped at a light or sign.When we got to their house,my cab was pretty well ruined in the back seat.
Now I had a choice-I could call the police,wait an hour or two for them to show up,do some paper work,then go to a magistrate and swear out a warrant for damage to my bizness property,and spend the rest of the night messing with it for mebbe a $100 in court.Or I could clean up the car best I could and go haul some more drunks,who'd probably be sooooo drunk they didn't care anyhow as long as they got a ride,which is what I did.So I made another $300 between 1AM and 4AM New Years Day.I also picked up the worst 24 hour bug I ever had in my life.Two days later I woke up puking my guts out and filling my drawers with watery excrement.That went on for one day,then my wife who was sick in bed for two months with pneumonia caught it and she started puking and crapping too.After another couple of days,it passed thru both of us and I spent another day cleaning the carpets,bedding and clothes.
Okay,so now my wife makes me an appointment at our doctor in Burgaw,NC.So I'm sitting in the exam room after the nurse took all my vitals,waiting for Dr Gonzales to come in.Needless to say I was slighly taken aback when a 5'2" pretty little Hispanic 30 year old girl walked in and said-"Hi.I'm Dr Gonzales."Well long story short,she examined my prostate,told me it was a little swollen,and to get a colonscopy which I immediately told her no way Hose'!She said okay,told me to take laxatives and fiber and call her back when I saw tar in my stool.Two weeks later,I was calling her back.
She gave me the names of 2 docs in Burgaw,the first one telling me $600 in adavance,and that was that.I could barely afford the co-pay for Dr Gonzales!
Anyhow that woman on my back(like in the commercial),called the second recommendation,told them the situation and got me an appointment with Dr Nasarallah in Burgaw,NC.We gave him $50 and talked and he said he would call me when he had made arrangements with Pender County Hospital for the procedure.Meanwhile I applied for charity aid which I got.
When I was in the prep room at Pender Memorial,the anesthesiologist told me they were doing endoscopies for free.I said how come and he said well after the colonscopy they just pull the tube out and use it for the endoscopy.I said okay,go ahead.I didn't know what an endoscopy was but I figgered I needed all the tests I could get. I kept spitting for the next month!Hahaha!
Okay long story short,I had a malignant tumor in my lower colon that had to come out.About six inches long Nasarallah said.Tom Clancy took seven feet of colon out.